A Germ of an Idea; Darkness at Night

A Germ of an Idea

watercolor and ink on paper, 5x7"

 About a year ago I was experimenting with watercolors and came up with this. I like the colors and I like the fact that watercolor forces me to accept a certain looseness which I don't allow myself when I paint in oil. I am constantly struggling with ideas of control. Control of my life, my house, my kids. I need to loosen up. I know this about myself but it is still really hard for me. So when I came across this older piece it seemed like an important clue to me, a germ of an idea. I set to work on a large scale version, on clay board. Clay board is smooth and slippery and hardly absorbent at all, so if one paints on it with watercolor, the paint is very difficult to control, at least for me. The result was such a messy loose mess that I couldn't even stand to look at it. Frustrated, I put it away for months. But just the other day I spied it in the corner of my studio and decided to face it again. I pulled it out to work on during a class I was teaching, knowing I would be less precious with it if I was a little distracted. While teaching, I usually sketch something uncomplicated while my students work. It keeps me from hovering over them too much and I think we all like the parallel play.

expanded idea, work in progress, watercolor and ink on clay board, 18x36"

 When I explained my frustrations to my sweet, brilliant students, one of them suggested what should have been obvious. "Why don't you just make it even more messy". I was so ready to tidy it up that I couldn't imagine making it more messy. But here it is, work in progress, getting more complicated and ever so messy. (image above) I love my students.

Darkness at Night

 When I am not teaching, I paint, in oil, and try to immerse myself in darker, more serious themes. I listen to music. Lately it's Bill Callahan. I like his imagery. His songs paint pictures and create a strong and serious mood in my studio. This song is not so much dark as it is determined and fortifying.

a night scene, 2 weeks in

 I have just begun a painting (above), a night scene. I want to show the obvious beauty in nature, but also nature's dangerous, and even evil properties. We'll see if this conveys...trying to let it in. I'll post more pics as this painting progresses.  
Now to get back to work.