I've been beating myself up a bit about not producing much work this summer, and not getting a chance to take my regular bike rides, always busy, though, always thinking.
Today, I realized, I have been doing A LOT but it's all sort of new and all unfinished, and, most significantly, it's untested work and so, it feels shaky, insecure, anxiety ridden. Today I realized that's just as it should be. It mirrors my life exactly, and that's OK also.
I've been teaching 4 mornings a week, 2 hour classes, every week this whole summer and you'd think that would leave me plenty of time to get my other work done, but I've felt so scattered. I normally take some time off in the summer, break from teaching, renew my creative lifeline. This year finances are tight, so not only was there no vacation get away to make me all new again, but I decided to take on more students--open all my weekdays up. And I'm so happy to have had the opportunity. I've really enjoyed the teaching and have in fact honed my teaching skills and enjoyed these young people so much. BUT, my creative self needs rejuvenation and I have been wishing for an outlet, or even the concentrated time necessary in my studio to really get into my work. I started to look at all the pieces I've been working on all summer. When I slowed down enough to take stock, I realized that I've been working on a lot of different projects. They are all so varied, so much so, that it feels like my ideas are ricocheting about my studio in a really confusing fashion. So, I did what I usually do when life overwhelms me, I made a list--but in this case I documented it with pictures.
Here are some of my soon to be completed projects:
 |
| Work in progress, print of original ink drawing, mixed media and collage added. |
 |
| Dog Day Bugs, Cicadas, for examination, collected lovingly and given freely, to me...Thanks Juliee! |
 |
| preliminary drawings |
 |
| enlarged and exaggerated... |
 |
| Dog Day Bug, ink on claybord, beginning--loving working with liquid ink, sennelier's shiny shellac version. |
 |
| Dog Day Bug, changing, hmmm, we'll see |
 |
| Wall of ideas and recent sketches |
 |
| Sycamore tree parts, things Felix brought to me when he was little, I had saved them in a paper bag, found them the other day....sweet. |
 |
| One of my studio chairs. Chairs are one of my favorite things to draw. They all seem to suggest the people in the room, past, present, future. |
 |
| Indian Paintbrush, ink and watercolor |
 |
| Sorry the photo's a little blurry...ugh, Bird's Nest, oil on maple panel, for my friend and fellow artist Matt Lynaugh, almost done. |
 |
| My Problem in Yellow, maybe it's finally done. A 2-D set of worry beads. |
 |
| My next painting. I already know what I'm going to paint--what it's about, and all, I just have to sand and bleach the stretcher because it has some mildew damage--boring details. |
|
AND, I have an idea I've been stewing on for a while--for an art destination, here in Austin. I just need about 4 million, DOLLARS, so it's crazy, but I can't get it out of my mind and it keeps getting more real the more I think about it. The idea is so great and beautiful, isn't that enough?
I thought Austin already was an art destination in and of itself. And: four million dollars?! Do you still do those fantastic dressing screens? (or just tri-fold hinged screens?)
ReplyDeleteI think it was neat getting to see that you took your kids to Monticello. That practically restores my faith in humanity, or at least some of America, the ones who nurture the future (literally, in their kids) by education about the past in depth, in involvement. I admire that you are teaching now, and want to do something similar in southern Colorado, though I know it's really just providing a more condusive environment where (artistic) nature can take its course in a more timely manner. I don't know what to charge.
You HAVE been doing a lot! I particularly like the cicada study with several on one page. I think all the small things will gel and then you will have much to show for your time. But really, I like the small stuff just as much.
ReplyDeletekxo